"It's your fault...I'm gonna be late for my hair appointment..." These are some of the lighter sentences that my wife told me earlier today on the way to her scheduled hair appointment to start her spa day today. It's basically our Christmas today since she will be working a (lucrative) 12-hour nursing shift tomorrow and also over the weekend. Anyways, we went back and forth for a few minutes as couples do, telling each other what the other could have done in the morning differently to prevent us from running late. It's true that I could have just not showered, driven her, and came home. But then I would have had to come back soon after (all the way from Albany Park to Evanston) and the extra trip seemed pointless to me. True, she could have walked the dog while I got ready and left the counter-cleaning til later. True, we could have both woken up earlier to get our breakfast in and had plenty of time. I could go on, but I'm sure you understand through some of your own experiences and arguments. Well, we got there only 10 minutes after the scheduled time, and she had called when we left the house as a courteous customer should, and her stylist told her, "You got here in good time." (This is what she told me apologetically in a text message not too long ago.)
Basically, all of the arguing and anxiety could have been excluded from the morning, especially when we realized that at a certain point, we would be late, but that we would have to deal with whatever repercussions came from our choices. In the same way, we all have experiences that we would rather have go a different way, but let's face it-we can't go back, so the best thing to do is just deal with it. Control what you can control. That saying rings in my head all the time, and I use it a lot as a tip to you and others. It makes sense--there's no use getting upset or angry over something that you no longer have control over. Instead, my advice to you would be to stay calm, breathe, and try to think ahead of your situation as it has changed. When you do this, you will be more equipped to handle the remainder of the event, commute, workday, etc. Just thought I would leave you with that thought for today since it is fresh in my mind. Thanks for reading everyone! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
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Really good post bro. I remember it wasn't too long ago where I always got worked up over things and situations I could no longer control, doing the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thing. I still do, to some extent, but I make it a point of catchng myself and doing the exact same things you talk about here. And it works all of the time when I do catch myself! So yes, many people can use this advice! Thanks for the post!
ReplyDeleteWhen you are married discussions and arguments are essential, and you are absolutely right about not casting blame on any one. That is what life is all about. We go thru many situationa where we feel bad about things we say and do. You and Jas have been married for 2 years... you will encounter these things from time to time, your dad and I have and we still do after 33 years and 2 kids. One advice I have is no matter what happens never go to bed without making up and apologizing to each other and always "kiss and make up" Jas is a perfect wife for you and a perfect daughter for Parveen and me. I could have never asked for a better wife for my son. We are so blessed that God blessed you with a wonderful wife and a 2nd mother and a 2nd brother to guide. We are also very lucky to have an extended family. Christmas was indeed a wonderful celebration of Birth of Christ and celebration of our family. Dad and I are so very proud of our two sons. You have brought so much joy in our lives and we have abundance of love and we love you guys so much and I am going to start with the next phase of slim in 6, hopefully today. I have been under the weather so I dont want to overdo, so I will start slow but jump back on the program and take it to the next level. Keep working and remember the starting point of everything is Faith, Family and Friends. Always remember the three F's. Miss you already. So many blessings to look forward to in future. Always love you. Mom (and dad)
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